Personal
Self-Expression (Part 1)
How I realised that self-expression was the missing link in my life’s journey..
November 11, 2023
Learn a little more about what led me here.
my journey
Welcome to this corner of the internet. I feel that I have come a long way and have decided to share some interesting insights that I have encountered that have helped me on the path to healing.
My story
What am I healing exactly, you may wonder? Well, these past years, I feel like I was ‘collecting’ diagnoses.
It started off with a diagnosis of ADHD in September 2022 – something that was quite necessary given that my ability to focus or get anything done was just falling off down a steep cliff.
A few months after that, I was diagnosed with burn-out when I literally couldn’t even move – my whole back seized up so bad, that I could not even lie down flat in bed to sleep and was in so much pain. Mentally, I was absolutely gone and depleted and could not see a way out.
I also suffered from insomnia 6 months prior and it got to such a bad point, that I was sent to a sleep clinic who were trained in CBT-I (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia) and we had weekly group coaching sessions that were helpful in many ways, however I was still in a really bad state.
A few months after that, I felt like I was getting worse and worse, I would have emotional outbursts where I would just sit and cry and not even know why. I was in pain, I was tired.
One day just after New Year’s, I lost sight in one of my eyes and had the most intense headache I have ever had. I was dizzy, could not focus or remember anything nor could I walk straight and would bump into things. The doctors thought it was a migraine related to stress but I knew it was more than that. As it kept getting worse and worse, I was soon referred to the Neurology department, and after some tests and MRI scans, they told me I had an auto-immune condition called Multiple Sclerosis.
I didn’t even know about it too much so I wasn’t too worried, but as I started on the research – I then began to understand the seriousness of it all. On the other hand, however – it gave me answers. It gave me a lot of answers to why and how I was feeling and I was even grateful that I now had something to say when people would ask me ‘Why do you feel so bad? Why can’t you work?’
I had been on sick-leave from work for over 8 months and during this time, I did a lot of research, not only into this condition but also into everything surrounding it. For example, why and how it even came about (read Gabor Mate) and what it all means and how do I move forward.
I am still on the path of learning, however I have already gained so much knowledge both from various sources as well as my experiences and I feel guided on this journey to share with others and to hopefully help anyone who may also be struggling.
What to expect here
The one thing I would ask for anyone here is to keep an open mind and know that we are all on this journey of life together. We do not have to fear life for it is always teaching us, guiding us and helping us evolve through each and every experience we have.
I am not yet sure where this path will take me and my main goal is to just keep learning and keep writing. I hope to inspire others to also feel better, to share their voice and their story and I want to connect with wonderful individuals who I know are all around us.